Pompey's pact with the Devil...?

The ghost of John Deacon has announced he has submitted a bid for Portsmouth FC to administrators PKF. Deacon was owner of Pompey between 1974 and 1989 but retired from football following his death.

Now he says he wants to return to Pompey and finish the job.

"I took Portsmouth into the top flight and carried out substantial work on the stadium (knocking down the Fratton End), during my previous spell. Now I want to put Pompey back where they belong."

Doubts have been raised about Deacon's ability to raise the necessary funds, but he sought to allay doubts on that front.

"I've been developing the western shore of the Lake of Fire in hell and done very well."

Companies from hell do not have to file accounts at Companies House and Deacon denied rumours of being a front man for a consortium involving Lord Satan, the discredited former Red Devils owner.

"I am good friends with Lord Satan but he is not involved in this deal. It's purely my own thing. I've got massive plans for Pompey, there will be a million capacity bowl stadium which will drive non-matchday revenues as the souls of the damned will be thrown in during the week."

 

As part of the deal, Deacon claimed he has offered all Pompey's recent owners a good return on their outstanding debt, including cash, share options and a condo in hell when they die.

 

A supporters' spokesman said "We would be very sceptical of Mr Deacon's claims. We do not want to see any consortium involving Lord Satan connected with Pompey. Although we would prefer it to Portpin."

 

PKF declined to comment.