Thursday, August 26, 2010

Mandaric to dig more holes?

Leicester City chairman Milan Mandaric is refusing to rule out a shock return to Fratton Park where he claims he has “unfinished work”.

The former Pompey owner said today: “Everybody knows about my love affair with Portsmouth and what I achieved there.

“Everybody can recall how I sat astride a JCB wearing a hard hat to start the building of a new stadium. I fully intend to sit on that same JCB and dig down another foot – albeit wearing a different hard hat.

“After another few years I firmly believe the hole will be big enough to bury the financial records of Peter Storrie, Harry Redknapp and myself. I promise fans of Portsmouth I will only leave the hole in a better state than it was when I took over.

“And hopefully, once we fill in the hole the records will be lost and we can start on that statue I was promised by the Supporters Advisory Panel. Nice people – I appointed them myself…”

Monday, August 23, 2010

Buying Pompey is child's play apparently...

Baby PFC demonstrates his/her allegiance during a recent scan

An embryo due to be born in December has emerged as the new front-runner to buy Pompey.

Baby PFC as he/she is known is due on December 14 and has already gathered together sufficient funds to guarantee a bridging loan.

A spokesman for the embryo, whose father, property developer Gordon Bennett, was declared bankrupt earlier this year, insists the funds belong to the unborn child and that his/her father “is not involved in any way - no sirree…”

Apparently the embryo has made his/her fortune selling nutrients and placenta on the forward markets.

The spokesman added: “Baby PFC is keen to stress at this stage that his/her parents are not involved in the takeover. All the money is the bank’s and is guaranteed by future sales of placenta and afterbirth.

“All the funds should be in place around mid-December providing the mother can deliver on time. Baby PFC sees the development potential for Fratton Park as a crèche and has promised not to throw his/her toys out of the pram if negotiations get tough.”

A spokesman for the Pompey Truss – the support organisation – said: “We are treating these reports with some caution, after all we have had a previous owner who insisted his father wasn’t involved with the club and look what happened there.

“On the other hand Baby PFC does seem a lot more credible than Ali al Faraj, whom we don’t expect to see born at any stage…”

Portsmouth Football Club is 112 years old.