Monday, March 22, 2010

NOTW fires a broadside at 'tireless' Storrie

Breathtaking in its arrogance, mind-boggling in its delusion, nauseating in its self-pity, depressing in its egotism, Peter Storrie has given his definitive version of the events that have reduced a once-proud club to financial, footballing and moral rubble...

Could have been written by many of us - but it was courtesy of the News of the World and the UK's 'number one sports columnist' - see here

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Storrie is subject of Bleacher Report

To be serious for just a few moments, Pompey - but primarily the business acumen of Peter Storrie - has been highlighted by the renowned Bleacher report.

Take a look: http://bleacherreport.com/articles/359695-the-storrie-of-the-blues

Monday, March 8, 2010

Redknapp: Pompey is MY team


"It'll be great if we get to play Pompey in the semi-final, after all they're practically my team ferrshure.

"They probably wouldn't be here now had I not moved to Spurs in order to save them financially. And I lined up all these loan players before I left. especially Jamie O'Hara, who's so good I should play him at Spurs - but that's me all over. Generous to a fault.

"I also appointed the administrator despite what Bogbrush Chainmail said - I simply couldn't see MY club go bust. I would obviously do all I could to save them - I'm Pompey til I die ... or get offered more money.

"Of course Avram Grant learned everything from me during his time at Fratton Park when we seldom spoke. He simply watched and learned. It's like an extended family for me down there. What I'm trying to say is that I should be given all the credit for this ferrshure..."

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Storrie ‘works tirelessly’ to issue a statement

Pompey’s chief executive, Jack A’Storrie, has expressed dismay at the criticism levelled at him following the club’s administration.

And several prominent figures have jumped to his defence, including among others, highly respected and 100 per honest best selling author, former Tory MP and jailbird Geoffrey Orcher.

“Jack is one of the most honest people I have ever met,” insisted Orcher, handing over a brown envelope he collected from behind a radiator.

“I’m staggered that people can criticise a man who, as chief executive officer, has presided over such a sound financial model as that displayed by Portsmouth FC. He’s also one of the best story-tellers around, up there with me, Barbara Cartland and Peter Mandelson.”

A’Storrie said: “I am shocked by the level of abuse on websites, emails and local radio which I have received over the last couple of days.

“I was expecting a lot more – after all, in a business the buck stops here at the desk of the CEO.

“But it would appear that fans have been taken in by me working tirelessly to portray myself as a victim. I have - not just in the past 18 months but during my entire spell at the club - worked tirelessly to keep my name in the papers and attempt to deflect away any criticism.

“I have been working tirelessly to get members of my family on the club pay-roll and have succeeded in at least providing a cushy number for my nephew.

“I have also worked tirelessly behind the scenes to convince people I’m helpless in the decision-making process, while still taking my not inconsiderable basic salary – though it is nowhere near the £1.4m frequently quoted; you have to take into account all the bonuses to get near that – and still signing-off transfers I’ve insisted were not signed off by me.

“The fans obviously appreciate that I have shielded them from the club’s excesses by lying tirelessly about the state of the club’s finances, and not acting in a manner which many other less responsible CEOs would have done.

“I told the fans that the new owners would take the club to a ‘level they would not believe’ – and I have been proved correct in that assessment.

“I have really enjoyed my eight years at the club and have worked tirelessly during that time to secrete away a tidy next egg to help me set up home in Australia.

“My decision to stand down has not been taken lightly, but I have had to take into account the views of the administrator, the legal profession, Harry Redknapp’s lawyers, several thousand angry Pompey fans, who have shown a distasteful lack of naivety, and the producers of BBC’s Panorama.

“I hope that the sale of the club goes through because I have worked tirelessly to convince Pompey fans that I was one of the good eggs. Those who still believe me are true Pompey fans and those who dispute what I say are merely a bunch of ***** who deserve to see their team go out of business.

“Don’t use those exact words – butter it up a bit to make me sound a decent sort of bloke. But do keep using the word ‘tirelessly’ as I like that…”